I only gave a lecture about connecting, bonding, family and so on. I described what I was doing all these years. Family connection, then friends, then with your other loved ones, your animals. Even a farmer commits and adheres to / on his cattle. I recognize from my idiosyncratic roots, Zimbabwe where people and animals mainly in rural areas are highly interconnected.

Connection between the animals are subsequently to people

Sometimes cows or donkeys seen when they help people? They chat with each other, looking at each other and leave food behind each other and feed the young. As a child I helped my parents with the cattle, together with my brothers and sister. When I look back, I am particularly impressed with how we worked with neighborhood boys and girls. They also helped parents during planting, sowing and harvesting, and cattle. It happened a lot and it was really obvious that every child just had a taakje. Each task connected us also with the cattle we were doing.

I remember mostly the names we give to the cows. Each cow had a name that suited his character. From the moment it is a calf, the children and parents feel what it is. I write in the present tense because it still happened. I often get messages from my brother with the pictures of the remaining cattle.

Because names, creates a connection between man and animal, by regularity we were just connected.

Regularity and compound

From my parents I learned to get up very early. My parents had cows, goats, shelves, chickens, turkeys, dogs and cats. There was great diversity in.

They were so many and yet we knew one on which it was and what it did and lustte. Which eggs when it comes. We lived with season.

We ate seasonal vegetables, we were dependent on the moon. We slept early because it was faster dark. My mother always said “Basa Mangwanani” and this means better start working early, then you can still enjoy your day, because do you? it’s already evening.

This is what I still do, I remember when I worked at the office in Rotterdam and Schiedam I could often ask my colleagues if they had wet the bed;). So early was ik. Ik h ad been made long coffee and radio turned on to create a fun atmosphere connection to the work floor. I see actually why I did it.


Thanks for reading my blog. So I asked in February to give a lecture during the nine-month exhibition about what I actually do. This I told such and eventually it went #Familybonding. I continue with my blog when my kids are relax.

Dear greetings
Melissa Budding
Living in the Netherlands since 1996


Connection from my roots, how did that go? What did I learn?

Why many Africans use a pram instead of carrying their babies? Indoctrination?

Yes, I have seen them everywhere in Europe, many African women walk behind a pram, often a very expensive one. Is this a status thing? Just like a big car?

I am also an African woman who is absolutely awkward with a pram.. After I walked so often with my own babies in the sling, I came to a point where I wondered how the African woman or family transported their baby’s in Europe. Would they know whether this is or can be a norm in the West? A lot pf people from Africa do not dare practicing their culture in Western countries because of the brainwashing, slavery and colonialism has left a negative impact on many. Just watch the behaviour of no selfacceptance.

Every time I carry a baby on my back, I often get positive reactions and sometimes many questions from people who do not know anything about the art behind carrying culture.

Ignorant privileged Western people who oftenly think that they are civilized than Africans. Such that they end up automatically correcting you wothout even them thinking whether you thought this through. Therefore even starting their own organisations to help so called poor Africans.

Oftenly some Western people wonder whether:

  • Carrying a baby at my back is not harmful for my back
  • I’m not afraid that the baby can suddenly fall especially when carrying at my back
  • How long I can wear such a baby, and if the baby is not too heavy
  • Until what age can I carry such a baby and from what age can I start
  • Some questions sounded too ignorant in my ears, but nevertheless they wanted to learn. d

When I answer, I give examples like, think of runners from Africa, think of the percentage of elderly people who do not get a hip correction, operation of replacement.

The above questions are quite genuine, given that babywearing is not really well practiced as the norm in Europe. The ones who do are mostly considered alternative or those who have once traveled to Africa or Asia.

An average newborn mom takes a pram. She did not learn it differently,  she does not have enough role models who use a #mbereko system.

What do African parents say including expats and diasporas

Between all those people who comment when I am carrying my baby, there are also African women who do occasionally make a comment such as:

  • I do carry my baby only in my home for practical reasons.
  • How brave of you that you walk on the street with a mbereko in Europe.
  • My grandmothers used to do it in rural areas too that is very primitive and the ones who would say this are most South American people, and sometimes West Africans.
  • Is it allowed to walk with a baby in this way here in Europe? or can’t you afford to buy a proper pram?
  • I did not know you could do this outside, and why do people not do it here? and

    that goes on and on.

What I then realized was that African people or diaspora in general have not even thought whether carrying of baby’s could be one of the most important behavior in life.

They have never thought of finding out the reason why, carrying your baby is actually one of the best ways to bond with your baby. It has even been suggested that carrying your baby is a sign of poverty, that is why one is feel liberated when buying a pram

On the other hand, some Africans who may have wanted to carry their  baby’s in diaspora may have come across non ergonomic carrying systems and immediately felt that something was not right



Boating whilst wearing my baby! NEW

I am going to tell the Africans I know, that they are better off using #mbereko or #Torsobabywearingslings. Nothing is more natural than how we practice it in Africa, just like animals that do not need anything else than nature itself.