Every relationship has got ups and downs. Relationships were never meant to be easy nor non challenging. There comes a moment when you have children. Being pregnant is such a wonderful experience and deserves to be enjoyed.
Not to forget when to make the right decision that suits your daily you and your surroundings. In Western cultures, commercially oriented companies tend to make a uniform base and concept for all parents whom they almost already know they will be pregnant by then and then.
During the pregnancy both partners should be able to know what’s going on inside their uterus.
The main idea is to involve your husband or partner in almost every little thing that goes on within and around the pregnancy. The reason why a traditional African marriage may stay intact is because of the help around. Families and all other experienced moms, aunts who see helping you or guiding you as a duty. In Western countries, there isn’t much of this help, which makes sense that the husband takes this part. This is then ideal for an African traditional husband to learn.
As I grew up in Zimbabwe, the pregnant moments are treated differently than I have seen in The Netherlands and other European countries. A Zimbabwean woman goes to her aunties as soon as she is 7 months pregnant, what we call Masungiro.
This is the first pregnancy. This is very logical because she needs guidance. Unlike Europe or other Western countries where you have to pay for every guidance that you need. Zimbabwean families see this as a duty to give and provide this form of guidance. The only disadvantage so far was that, the husband was not deeply included.
Suppose you fail to include or involve your partner, it means you may suffer the consequences of doing it alone, like taking care of a child
The idea of having a baby together is doing it together through out from day one
How about babywearing?
The father was available to feel the baby in the uterus and maybe to speak a little bit so that his voice could be recognized. There is more needed.
A babycarrier that provides a long term bonding between a father and a baby .
This should be done as early as possible so that the communication in the future will be less difficult.
Think of when your child is becoming a teenager and they want to come to you for the first time to introduce her/ or his boyfriend or girlfriend. How would you feel if your child chooses someone else to talk to about those deeper feelings.
Why are African origins so close, especially to their mothers, Aunties ?
So as we go further with those deeper feelings then the bonding people wearing is really provided a lot of bonding between African people from generations to generations from long back and it’s still happening.
The disadvantage of commercial industry
It’s only a shame that the commercial related companies or industry is indeed not looking at the real science of babywearing. In that case they are really providing something else and making people believe that babywearing is practiced by poor people. When I became a parent I still managed to discover that babywearing was the only thing that felt very good.
A few reasons why I managed to carry my baby without doubting or following the norm.
- I grew up in Zimbabwe in the village where babywearing is still the main means of transporting a family from A to B, the main means worthwhile using when parents are at work in the fields, fetching firewood, or water. Of course dancing and all form of practical things.
- I also grew up in the city of Harare where I then discovered the difference between a village and a town. As time moves on, I could tell the difference between the town people and the village people. the village people never needed to talk to feel what another person is going through. Which explains that they are close to nature.
- My mother carried and breastfed me and my siblings, and that reveals how we get along and feel for one another in time of happiness or trouble, especially those intense moments.
- I didn’t want to keep checking the temperature of my baby.
I’ve seen enough people struggling with their baby and relationships. In the night when they want to go to bed, when they’re sleeping in the night and they don’t put the baby in their bed and that is very hard when you don’t know about babywearing and bonding, when you know babywearing you will learn Co sleeping which is already being practiced in most African countries. What makes an African mom uses her sense of feeling earlier than a mom in a town, Western country is that they already felt the feeling when they were carried in their younger years,. The close to nature thing.
Walking on the streets with my handmade mbereko convincing mothers whom I saw wearing baby’s like that, if they would try it with an ergonomic carrier, they would enjoy babywearing more.
Of course its a mission impossible because they had already spend money on this non ergonomic carrier and wouldn’t want to buy a new carrier. I started giving my work and my handmade carrier for free in exchange for a non-ergonomic carrier. Unfortunately I still have more than 20 non ergonomic carriers in my working place. The free giving of my work has had so many disadvantages.
As the years went buy babywearing is almost part of a daily life and we still need to promoting the right way and the safest