Why babywearing improves your relationship and marriage

Every relationship has got ups and downs. Relationships were never meant to be easy nor non challenging. There comes a moment when you have children. Being pregnant is such a wonderful experience and deserves to be enjoyed.

Not to forget when to make the right decision that suits your daily you and your surroundings. In Western cultures, commercially oriented companies tend to make a uniform base and concept for all parents whom they almost already know they will be pregnant by then and then.

During the pregnancy both partners should be able to know what’s going on inside their uterus.
The main idea is to involve your husband or partner in almost every little thing that goes on within and around the pregnancy. The reason why a traditional African marriage may stay intact is because of the help around. Families and all other experienced moms, aunts who see helping you or guiding you as a duty.  In Western countries, there isn’t much of this help, which makes sense that the husband takes this part. This is then ideal for an African traditional husband to learn.

As I grew up in Zimbabwe, the pregnant moments are treated differently than I have seen in The Netherlands and other European countries. A Zimbabwean woman goes to her aunties as soon as she is 7 months pregnant, what we call Masungiro.

masungiro

quoted from Rites of passage

This is the first pregnancy.  This is very logical because she needs guidance. Unlike Europe or other Western countries where you have to pay for every guidance that you need.   Zimbabwean families see this as a duty to give and provide this form of guidance. The only disadvantage so far was that, the husband was not deeply included.

Suppose you fail to include or involve your partner,  it means you may suffer the consequences of doing it alone, like taking care of a child

The idea of having a baby together is doing it together through out from day one

How about babywearing?

Free hands for the other children by a slightly bigger family

Why is babywearing saving a lot of marriages? Why should babywearing save a lot teenagers fighting with their parents. Because most children feel left out or neglected when the baby is given too much attention. Every child deserves this kind of attention, like cuddling and fully understanding that they too belong. So you need to be a bit clever when it comes to bringing up your children as diaspora or someone without family around to help you around.

Babywearing improves your relationship

When you use a baby carrier, you can easily visit a beach without having to push a baby in the sand. Its even warmer when the three of you bond and enjoy one another’s oxytocine. The relationship improves without you even realizing it.

A sexy husband cooking with the baby at his back, just as safe and warm

Involvement of your husband or partner plays an important role. He is not only helping out cooking but also bonding with the baby. This way you give him the feeling and idea that he is there, not only for hunting but especially for moral support. Most dads work full time and the only chance they may have to see the children is lesser than the mom.

A romantic lunch with my husband.

At that moment I was not yet feeling well enough to walk longer distances with the baby, after the third cesarean. As my husband know how to carry a baby, I only had to dress up and off we left for a lunch, and sometimes for a drink and diner.

 

original mbereko zimbabwe

193530_342120982545183_610745619_o

Teaching whilst carrying my baby! Work and babywearing

133346_363910857032862_1431004068_o

Teaching an African drumming class whilst wearing my baby, this way I do not need to spend money to pay a babysitter. At the same time I am involving my children and teaching them rhythm. Babycarryworkout

IMG_20150813_141628

Boating whilst wearing my baby! NEW. who has even thought that parents could learn this. which means, you do not limit much of the activities that you used to do together before you had children.

The father  was available to feel the baby in the uterus and maybe to speak a little bit so that his voice could be recognized. There is more needed.

12246930_1255297494496046_1072202227047500519_n

A babycarrier that provides a long term bonding between a father and a baby .

This  should be done as early as possible so that the communication in the future will be less difficult.
Think of when your child is becoming a teenager and they want to come to you for the first time to introduce her/ or his boyfriend or girlfriend. How would you feel if your child chooses someone else to talk to about those deeper feelings.

Why are African origins so close, especially to their mothers, Aunties ?

So as we go further with those deeper feelings then the bonding people wearing is really provided a lot of bonding between African people from generations to generations from long back and it’s still happening.

The disadvantage of commercial industry

It’s only a shame that the commercial related companies or industry is indeed not looking at the real science of babywearing. In that case they are really providing something else and making people believe that babywearing is practiced by poor people. When I  became a parent I still managed to discover that babywearing  was the only thing that felt very good.

A few reasons why I managed to carry my baby without doubting or following the norm.

  • I grew up in Zimbabwe in the village where babywearing is still the main means of transporting a family from A to B, the main means worthwhile using when parents are at work in the fields, fetching firewood, or water. Of course dancing and all form of practical things.
  • I also grew up in the city of Harare where I then discovered the difference between a village and a town. As time moves on, I could tell the difference between the town people and the village people. the village people never needed to talk to feel what another person is going through. Which explains that they are close to nature.
  • My mother carried and breastfed me and my siblings, and that reveals how we get along and feel  for one another in time of happiness or trouble, especially those intense moments.
  • I didn’t want to keep checking the temperature of my baby.
    20140910_162009

    My sibling enjoying the family

    20141101_152209

    Me and my sibling and children

    424409_4735120329520_1367506089_n

    My husband playing outside with all the kids, and no one is left behind. As for the snow, its a question of wearing the right shoes for the season and be careful

    Met_tekst_ane_bij_ali

    My daughter carrying her sibling, more than just bonding, this way they won’t fight too much of be jealous of one another

    DSCN3971

    My children bonding

    DSC02655

    My little sister watching the siblings bonding

    20992_815762755181001_7648503818839104357_n

    My sibling bonding with my child in the Mberekocarry. The importance of having your family around you and not only a few hours to give you a present, but being there. Grateful to have such a wonderful sister. Only we now live very far from one another ❤

I’ve seen enough people struggling with their baby  and relationships.  In the night when they want to go to bed,  when they’re sleeping in the night and they don’t  put the baby in their bed  and that is very hard when you don’t know about babywearing and bonding, when you know babywearing you will learn Co sleeping which  is already being practiced in most African countries. What makes an African mom uses her sense of feeling earlier than a mom in a town, Western country is that they already felt the feeling when they were carried in their younger years,. The close to nature thing.

Bonding

We did practice co sleeping and still do. check how much your children love cuddling. Check how practical this can be/

this could be more practical and faster

When I met this lady, I asked her to make a picture and eventually use it for my work. She allowed me. the lady. It was not an easy task for her to take the kids from the car and bring them this way to the day care. I was coming from the gym with my baby at my back and I was much more freer.

Walking on the streets with my handmade mbereko convincing mothers whom I saw wearing baby’s like that, if they would try it with an ergonomic carrier, they would enjoy babywearing more.

Of course its a mission impossible because they had already spend money on this non ergonomic carrier and wouldn’t want to buy a new carrier. I started giving my work and my handmade carrier for free in exchange for a non-ergonomic carrier. Unfortunately I still have more than 20 non ergonomic carriers in my working place. The free giving of my work has had so many disadvantages.
As the years went buy babywearing is almost part of a daily life and we still need to promoting the right way and the safest

liever helpen dan uitlachen

My husband there testing the feeling of a non ergonomic carrier and and Mbereko. there is so much difference. but that is another blog following

to be able to approach a mom with this carrier, you need communication skills

Walking on the streets with my handmade mbereko convincing mothers whom I saw wearing baby’s that, if they would try it with an ergonomic carrier, they would enjoy babywearing. Of couse its a mission impossible because they had already spend money on it and would want to buy a new carrier. I started giving them for free in exchange for a non-ergonomic carrier. As the years went buy babywearing is almost part of a daily life and we still need to promote the right way.

 

Terugblik op een jaar met veel media aandacht

Even mooie herinnering van 2017 even delen en hoe trots en dankbaar ik mag zijn.
Ondanks de baby’s die aan het huilen waren op de negenmaandenbeurs die nadat ze in de draagdoek waren in slaap vielen.

Viel het mij ook op dat mensen die daardoor gefascineerd zijn geraakt ook de boodschap verder vertelden en nog steeds. Op die manier kreeg ik een telefoontje van een bijzondere tv programma redactie.
Op deze dag toen het telefoontje kwam was ik flink aan het voorbereiden op mijn lezing die ik moest verzorgen tijdens de negenmaandenbeurs op het Plein en deze ging over “veilig babydragen”
Het telefoontje kwam vanuit RTL4 en Carlo’s TV Café. Ook weer zoiets waarvan je denkt, oh klopt het wel?. En toch echt helemaal.carlostvcafe
Ze wilde dus een cameraploeg sturen om de barman te volgen die voor de chef-kok die zwanger was een draagdoek wilde uitzoeken en alle andere baby benodigdheden. Zie de uitzending: . http://www.gemistvoornmt.nl/…/1037243-carlos-tv-cafe-o

Op dat moment toen de cameraploeg aankwam, wist ik nog niet precies waar ik stond. Chella Verhoeven wees me waar ik stond  en dat was in de borstvoeding lounge waar Gonneke Veldhuizen stond.Beurs vrijdag 172.jpg

Deze slideshow heeft JavaScript nodig.

Ik heb een tafeltje kunnen bekleden met mijn draagdoeken. We zijn gelijk begonnen met de interview en voorbereiding voor Carlo’s TV die dan op zondag uitgezonden werd.

Zie fotos: