Why babywearing improves your relationship and marriage

Every relationship has got ups and downs. Relationships were never meant to be easy nor non challenging. There comes a moment when you have children. Being pregnant is such a wonderful experience and deserves to be enjoyed.

Not to forget when to make the right decision that suits your daily you and your surroundings. In Western cultures, commercially oriented companies tend to make a uniform base and concept for all parents whom they almost already know they will be pregnant by then and then.

During the pregnancy both partners should be able to know what’s going on inside their uterus.
The main idea is to involve your husband or partner in almost every little thing that goes on within and around the pregnancy. The reason why a traditional African marriage may stay intact is because of the help around. Families and all other experienced moms, aunts who see helping you or guiding you as a duty.  In Western countries, there isn’t much of this help, which makes sense that the husband takes this part. This is then ideal for an African traditional husband to learn.

As I grew up in Zimbabwe, the pregnant moments are treated differently than I have seen in The Netherlands and other European countries. A Zimbabwean woman goes to her aunties as soon as she is 7 months pregnant, what we call Masungiro.


quoted from Rites of passage

This is the first pregnancy.  This is very logical because she needs guidance. Unlike Europe or other Western countries where you have to pay for every guidance that you need.   Zimbabwean families see this as a duty to give and provide this form of guidance. The only disadvantage so far was that, the husband was not deeply included.

Suppose you fail to include or involve your partner,  it means you may suffer the consequences of doing it alone, like taking care of a child

The idea of having a baby together is doing it together through out from day one

How about babywearing?

Free hands for the other children by a slightly bigger family

Why is babywearing saving a lot of marriages? Why should babywearing save a lot teenagers fighting with their parents. Because most children feel left out or neglected when the baby is given too much attention. Every child deserves this kind of attention, like cuddling and fully understanding that they too belong. So you need to be a bit clever when it comes to bringing up your children as diaspora or someone without family around to help you around.

Babywearing improves your relationship

When you use a baby carrier, you can easily visit a beach without having to push a baby in the sand. Its even warmer when the three of you bond and enjoy one another’s oxytocine. The relationship improves without you even realizing it.

A sexy husband cooking with the baby at his back, just as safe and warm

Involvement of your husband or partner plays an important role. He is not only helping out cooking but also bonding with the baby. This way you give him the feeling and idea that he is there, not only for hunting but especially for moral support. Most dads work full time and the only chance they may have to see the children is lesser than the mom.

A romantic lunch with my husband.

At that moment I was not yet feeling well enough to walk longer distances with the baby, after the third cesarean. As my husband know how to carry a baby, I only had to dress up and off we left for a lunch, and sometimes for a drink and diner.


original mbereko zimbabwe


Teaching whilst carrying my baby! Work and babywearing


Teaching an African drumming class whilst wearing my baby, this way I do not need to spend money to pay a babysitter. At the same time I am involving my children and teaching them rhythm. Babycarryworkout


Boating whilst wearing my baby! NEW. who has even thought that parents could learn this. which means, you do not limit much of the activities that you used to do together before you had children.

The father  was available to feel the baby in the uterus and maybe to speak a little bit so that his voice could be recognized. There is more needed.


A babycarrier that provides a long term bonding between a father and a baby .

This  should be done as early as possible so that the communication in the future will be less difficult.
Think of when your child is becoming a teenager and they want to come to you for the first time to introduce her/ or his boyfriend or girlfriend. How would you feel if your child chooses someone else to talk to about those deeper feelings.

Why are African origins so close, especially to their mothers, Aunties ?

So as we go further with those deeper feelings then the bonding people wearing is really provided a lot of bonding between African people from generations to generations from long back and it’s still happening.

The disadvantage of commercial industry

It’s only a shame that the commercial related companies or industry is indeed not looking at the real science of babywearing. In that case they are really providing something else and making people believe that babywearing is practiced by poor people. When I  became a parent I still managed to discover that babywearing  was the only thing that felt very good.

A few reasons why I managed to carry my baby without doubting or following the norm.

  • I grew up in Zimbabwe in the village where babywearing is still the main means of transporting a family from A to B, the main means worthwhile using when parents are at work in the fields, fetching firewood, or water. Of course dancing and all form of practical things.
  • I also grew up in the city of Harare where I then discovered the difference between a village and a town. As time moves on, I could tell the difference between the town people and the village people. the village people never needed to talk to feel what another person is going through. Which explains that they are close to nature.
  • My mother carried and breastfed me and my siblings, and that reveals how we get along and feel  for one another in time of happiness or trouble, especially those intense moments.
  • I didn’t want to keep checking the temperature of my baby.

    My sibling enjoying the family


    Me and my sibling and children


    My husband playing outside with all the kids, and no one is left behind. As for the snow, its a question of wearing the right shoes for the season and be careful


    My daughter carrying her sibling, more than just bonding, this way they won’t fight too much of be jealous of one another


    My children bonding


    My little sister watching the siblings bonding


    My sibling bonding with my child in the Mberekocarry. The importance of having your family around you and not only a few hours to give you a present, but being there. Grateful to have such a wonderful sister. Only we now live very far from one another ❤

I’ve seen enough people struggling with their baby  and relationships.  In the night when they want to go to bed,  when they’re sleeping in the night and they don’t  put the baby in their bed  and that is very hard when you don’t know about babywearing and bonding, when you know babywearing you will learn Co sleeping which  is already being practiced in most African countries. What makes an African mom uses her sense of feeling earlier than a mom in a town, Western country is that they already felt the feeling when they were carried in their younger years,. The close to nature thing.


We did practice co sleeping and still do. check how much your children love cuddling. Check how practical this can be/

this could be more practical and faster

When I met this lady, I asked her to make a picture and eventually use it for my work. She allowed me. the lady. It was not an easy task for her to take the kids from the car and bring them this way to the day care. I was coming from the gym with my baby at my back and I was much more freer.

Walking on the streets with my handmade mbereko convincing mothers whom I saw wearing baby’s like that, if they would try it with an ergonomic carrier, they would enjoy babywearing more.

Of course its a mission impossible because they had already spend money on this non ergonomic carrier and wouldn’t want to buy a new carrier. I started giving my work and my handmade carrier for free in exchange for a non-ergonomic carrier. Unfortunately I still have more than 20 non ergonomic carriers in my working place. The free giving of my work has had so many disadvantages.
As the years went buy babywearing is almost part of a daily life and we still need to promoting the right way and the safest

liever helpen dan uitlachen

My husband there testing the feeling of a non ergonomic carrier and and Mbereko. there is so much difference. but that is another blog following

to be able to approach a mom with this carrier, you need communication skills

Walking on the streets with my handmade mbereko convincing mothers whom I saw wearing baby’s that, if they would try it with an ergonomic carrier, they would enjoy babywearing. Of couse its a mission impossible because they had already spend money on it and would want to buy a new carrier. I started giving them for free in exchange for a non-ergonomic carrier. As the years went buy babywearing is almost part of a daily life and we still need to promote the right way.


Do you dare to show your emotions in public?

Which emotions do you still dare to show in this Western society?

Which emotions do you still dare to show in this Western society?
What is your opinion? Last week I had to cry in one of my live videos on Facebook. Someone said (with the best intentions) that I should not show too many emotions because I am such a strong woman. But for me that was just a relief. I can not schedule it to run to the toilet for a moment to cry. So what do you do? Crying, hiding or just keeping everything inside?
People who know me know that I am not afraid to cry or show my emotions.
What I notice in Western society (s) or world is that people were simply taught to comfort themselves. Because children go straight into the pram and are nor cuddles enough. Therefore teach themselves to self soothe.
Whenever someone else come into their life and try to give them love they probably deserve, they reject that.

They are not able to express emotions towards the people they are connected to. Actually it is true that by daring to cry in front of people you love, you give these people the feeling that you trust them. This is something that is built up when you are still young and you are cuddled and carried.

What is answered when you have questions and therefore you are not afraid to express these emotions. So if you want more empathy and feeling, then this behavior is definitely recommended. Talking about these kinds of emotions and feelings is really one of my strengths.

I only got the advice to not do it as publicly and certainly in my own environment because men do not see that. Example was also “you are a strong woman so stop crying. This type of advice is also basically given out of love by someone who must have learned this as a solution to situations that she has undergone in her life. That’s why I started with this and usually I like to hear what people think about this and of course a global question is the best. During my work trip, you hear me using words like: Oxytocine Family Bonding Cuddle Babywearing this includes feelings and emotions in later life. If you are emotional and people around you treat you as if you need help because you are crying or angry. Then those people have already learned to comfort themselves as babies in their own beds. You can name more.

Translated from Dutch

Welke emoties durf je nog te tonen in deze westerse maatschappij?

Wat is jouw mening? Vorige week moest ik huilen in een van mijn live video’s op Facebook. Iemand zei (met de beste bedoelingen) dat ik niet teveel emoties moest laten zien omdat ik zo’n sterke vrouw ben. Maar voor mij was dat juist een opluchting. Ik kan het niet inplannen om even naar het toilet rennen om te huilen. Dus wat doen jullie? Huilen, verstoppen of gewoon alles binnenhouden?

Mensen die mij kennen weten dat ik niet bang ben om te huilen of mijn emoties te laten zien. Ik doe dit al jaren vanaf een baby af aan. Ik ben een in een draagdoek gedragen baby en ik heb genoeg verbinding ontvangen vanuit huis.
Wat ik merk in de westerse maatschappij(en) of wereld is dat mensen gewoon geleerd hebben om zichzelf te troosten. Doordat kinderen meteen in de kinderwagen gaan en weinig geknuffeld worden, merk je ook dat die mensen niet durven knuffelen,

niet durven huilen. Maar ook nog eens niet emoties uiten richting de personen waar ze mee verbonden zijn.

Eigenlijk is het wel zo dat door te durven huilen in bijzijn van mensen die je lief hebben, geef jij deze mensen het gevoel dat je ze vertrouwt. Dit is iets wat opgebouwd wordt wanneer je nog jong bent en je wordt geknuffeld en gedragen. Wat beantwoord wordt wanneer je vragen hebt en daardoor ben je dan ook niet bang om deze emoties te uiten.
Dus wil je meer empathie en gevoel dan is dit gedrag boven zeker een aanrader. Praten over dit soort emoties en gevoelens is wel echt een van mijn sterke kanten.
Ik kreeg alleen als advies om het niet zo publiek te doen en zeker het liefst in mijn eigen omgeving want mannen horen dat niet te zien.
Voorbeeld was ook “je bent een sterke vrouw dus stop maar met huilen.
Dit soort advies is ook in principe uit liefde gegeven van iemand die zelf dit heb moeten leren als een oplossing voor situaties die zij is ondergaan in haar leven.
Daarom begon ik hiermee en meestal hoor ik graag wat mensen hiervan vinden en natuurlijk een globaal vraag is het beste.
Tijdens mijn werk reis, horen jullie me woorden gebruiken zoals:
daarbij horen gevoelens en emoties op latere leeftijd.
Als je zelf emotioneel bent en mensen om je heen behandelen je alsof je geholpen moet worden omdat je huil of boos bent. Dan die mensen hebben al als baby zichzelf leren troosten in hun eigen bedje. Je kunt meer benoemen.